Being a real writer

So, today started quite horribly. My grandfather  passed away. But Norman Mailer said "Being a real writer means being able to do the work on a bad day."

Death is the bad face of life and it's also one of the things we can't avoid. It's bittersweet, for me at least. Life's not supposed to be forever. Just like Queen's song "who wants to live forever." I always get into such a weird place in my head when someone dies. I go numb and emotionless.

It's a defense mechanism since my dad died 5 years ago I guess. The worst thing is that life goes on, and you feel like you're left behind and you always thought "something like that would never happen to me." But above all you feel cheated.  Cheated out of a loved one and angry. Because they weren't supposed to be gone yet.

There's nothing you can do. Feeling all these things will never bring them back. Life might have moved on without you, but you will catch up with it, not because you want to. You have to. Otherwise you will just die away like the mourners whose tears never dried up.

This one is dedicated to my Grandparents and my dad.
 

I survived

Days of suffering, torture, stress and fear have passed..

We fought our way through it all for 3 weeks. We went through the phases, denial, anger, negotiation. Then came the depression and soon after acceptance. Some days were easier, but some where like hand-feeding a crocodile. And some days, we wished would never come.

We poured every ounce of our being out day by day, and when we didn't pour it out, we prepared for the next day. During this time, beds looked more comfortable, shows on TV got better and your cellphone got busier. But I am a survivor.

 Exams suck don't they??

Luckily mine are dead now. I'm alive once again!! Good luck of you are still fighting, or are still going to fight. May the force be with you!

Last stretch to freedom!

So, the drama test is done.. My brain is on sleep-mode since the Monster FINALLY wore off. Monster mixed with Nootropil and Stress-aways makes your brain all confused! should I relax? Should I stay alert?? Should I address the fact that I have Restless legs syndrome?? (that's actually real.)

I didn't know what to do with my disoriented brain.. So I finished my test and then....

I crashed. Luckily I was finished with my test just in time. After the crash all that echoed in my brain was "bleh." I then pursued my dream of becoming Picasso, but it didn't work out.

So tonight is the last time I'm study for a while. Thank life.. I don't know if my brain could handle more than 15 Exams!

Drama

So I'm writing drama tomorrow. I am still probably in denial, since I'm here, on the internet.. I'm skipping sleep tonight, I bought a Monster energy drink the size of Mount Everest.

A drama test isn't 2 pages. I'm too scared to even count how many pages it is. Soon after this post i'll be slipping into reality. And negativity. Then I will build the great wall of the drama test around me and unpack it pile, by pile! Then soon after midnight a friend and I will attempt to keep each other awake. I will sleep for an hour, then I'll repeat the unpacking of the drama wall. In the test I will know the important answers, and silently whimper about the rest. But after the test all will be good again, I will then repeat this study method for French and Music on Friday. Fabulous.














This one is for the poor souls writing drama, we can do this!
And if you can't..... Well you won't die or anything.

To ask, or not to ask? That is the question...

So I'm in Matric this year, some people know it as senior year, sixth form, 12th grade, year 12 etc. Along with the mountains of work, this year has the matric-dance, also known as prom or formal. This is the chance for boys to ask girls to the event and make them feel special. But here in South Africa, there's something in the air that prevents the asking from happening for some.

I don't want a commitment or babies or anything! Just someone with me for the pictures and to verify that I'm not a wallflower. I'm seriously considering asking one of my friends, I hinted at it, but the boy is oblivious! It would be cool if I didn't have to ask. But I would rather ask and have a date, than not ask and go alone. Foreveralone.

I just want to know if it's socially acceptable to ask a guy to Matric-dance/prom? We don't have things like the Sadie Hawkins dance to test the theory. If it is okay, how should I ask? Without making it weird?

Guys, ask her out already! 

This one is for all the girls who haven't been asked, and motivation to the guys to ask!!

This day.

It's just one of them days again.. It started at 4.30 this morning. I set my alarm because I had to study a little more.

I shut off my terrible alarm tone, and I didn't move for a few moments because I was coming to terms with the fact that I was awake so early. Anything before 7.00 am is way too early. And then, without even looking in the mirror I knew I was going to have a bad hair day if I do not get up and tame the beast immediately. So I did.

I never seem to know how the heck I sleep so crazy that my hair has a hangover the next day. I wouldn't call it a skill, maybe a strange talent. I know there are others like me. If you can read this, I cannot provide food or shelter. But I do have hairspray like they do in Jerseylicious, and that's better than food. You'll be hungry, but you'll look good!

Okay, ANYWAYS! I studied a bit, had breakfast and dragged on to school. I was fairly confident about the test, until my friend Simon was like: This is gonna suck. And he's supposed to be the smart one! And at that moment, I was just thinking: Well then, if anyone needs me, I'll be here, failing.

But then I went through the test and relaxed, because the board of education set it up.

Now I'm home, at peace and my hair still looks good. - Happy place.

The art of study

The time to study is upon us, and this time is horrid. One has the potential to crack under the pressure, go crazy and kill teachers, or even consider failing.

To maintain sanity, study-breaks are mandatory. Don't think you will be smarter if you study for 5 hours straight, you will be smartly mistaken and possibly a little brain-dead. Study for as long as you can normally concentrate. If you don't know when that is, think of your brain as a microwave, instead if going "beep" when  you have lost concentration, your brain goes "blehg" or "meh." When you "meh," back away from the books with your hands up.

You can go for a walk, watch some TV, or just chill on your bed with your eyes closed. Do anything that doesn't involve studying. Study-breaks are good as long as you can manage your time right. Don't study for an hour, imagine the "meh" and take a break for 4 hours, you will fail, or do poorly in that next test.

And if you're writing English about "The Great Gatsby" for example, watching the movie doesn't count. Actual books have to be studied. The last time I checked, movies don't have an option to view the themes. There are no shortcuts in studying, just study hard enough to do well, and relax enough not to go completely insane!

Right, my brain went "meh" half an hour ago. Time to reheat..... Meh    

 This one is dedicated to everyone studying for some kind of torturous test!