Being a real writer

So, today started quite horribly. My grandfather  passed away. But Norman Mailer said "Being a real writer means being able to do the work on a bad day."

Death is the bad face of life and it's also one of the things we can't avoid. It's bittersweet, for me at least. Life's not supposed to be forever. Just like Queen's song "who wants to live forever." I always get into such a weird place in my head when someone dies. I go numb and emotionless.

It's a defense mechanism since my dad died 5 years ago I guess. The worst thing is that life goes on, and you feel like you're left behind and you always thought "something like that would never happen to me." But above all you feel cheated.  Cheated out of a loved one and angry. Because they weren't supposed to be gone yet.

There's nothing you can do. Feeling all these things will never bring them back. Life might have moved on without you, but you will catch up with it, not because you want to. You have to. Otherwise you will just die away like the mourners whose tears never dried up.

This one is dedicated to my Grandparents and my dad.