I judge people around me that I know, and they judge me. It's almost more acceptable than the things I am starting to notice. People I don't even know think that they have the right to judge me for some reason. this pisses me off intensely. Who the hell are you to judge me? Do you know me? Have you lived my life? Do you do what I do? NO.
Today again, a random guy in my school decided he could play Joan Rivers and he came to the conclusion that I am worst of the week. I stood there and felt how my heart sank to my feet and how my self-esteem took a dive. Who is he? I don't know.. All I know is that he managed to hurt me without saying a thing. It's easy to say "ignore them," "screw them" and "they are nothing." It's very hard to find value in yourself when you see people laughing at you.
I'm not the image of perfection.. But that doesn't mean I am open to be judged by people who aren't anything special themselves. I'm tired, I am exhausted by hurtful schoolkids that think they have the power to make me feel like shit. I don't know if it's just the kids in my school that feed on hurting other people, but I am seriously over it. I don't even want to say something mean back at the guy from earlier today... I would just like to know what I did to him that he felt the need to mess up my day and if my appearance disturbs his daily life.
People don't even now how much they can hurt each other by words or gestures or just looks.. A lot of kids have that same judgemental look. It's like they go to a class where some halfbreed teacher shows them how to attack someone from the inside.
If you're like that, answer this: Do you feel proud when you make someone feel like a reject? Do you even know how long someone can remember something that hurt them in such a way? And lastly, What is wrong with you? Try pursuing a less damaging activity. You can only break so many people before karma bites you in the ass and breaks you.
If you don't know me, don't judge me.
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