Tears, fears and the past 5 years.

My family and I went to Bloemfontein for my grandfather's funeral. We left here on Thursday for the funeral that was on Friday, and we came back today.

It was an emotional journey from the moment we knew we where going. You see, Bloemfontein is not at the top of my list of favorite places at this stage. Every time I'm there I cry. For readers from overseas.. I live in Pretoria, and my grandparents lived in Bloemfontein. Facts about Bloem: 

• It's cold
• It's cold
• And it's REALLY cold.
• And in the summer it's really hot.
• If you're from Pretoria, it will take a while before you grow accustomed to the PMSing weather.
• Bloemfontein is 5 hours away if you drive, so it's 3 hours too far -_-

There's nothing wrong with the people there. Them I love.. It's just the reasons why we go there that make me a little teary eyed. The series of unfortunate events started a little more than 5 years ago. My granny passed in January and my dad passed the day after the funeral in Bloem. And during our latest visit we drove passed our fear, the hotel where my dad never woke up that day. 

I didn't recognize it at first because there was a gate and changes etc. It seemed strange to me at that moment. But I realize, 5 years have passed, and things change. I remember it all too well to believe that it has already been 5 years. Some things just stay in your head. No matter how badly you want to avoid the thoughts, it doesn't make them go away. But even though we are sad, the good memories will stay to mend us. 

Somehow I feel at peace. Bloem has taken my loved ones. But it is a home to loved ones too. It's not a bad place, just sad things at a good place.